dogwhispa
05-23-2008, 12:59 AM
I have been addicted to Stadol NS for nine years. I have hid it well. I wont go into all the details of the hell I've put myself through...but I want to quit! My biggest hurdle is the embarrassment of letting people know that I have a problem. My husband's family has two psycho-therapists who deal solely with addictions! His mom and sister. Embarrassing.
Or, could it be a deep-seated knowledge that once I tell, I will not be able to use anymore? And then where does that leave me when I get a level 10 migraine?? Though, I have usually used all my Stadol and dont have it when I need it. Or, better yet, using it causes a severe migraine! But my REAL headaches last 72 hours and make me want to get the gun out. I am so confused.
My latest bout ended on Tuesday. I had five bottles and used them in 14 days. This particular instance left me bloated with at least 10 lbs of water weight...and my joints hurt so bad. I had "the flu" again this week to cover for my withdrawals. I have two refills left (ten more bottles) I cry and curse God when I pull away from that pharmacy drive-thru window with my bag of two weeks of hell. And I immediately open a bottle.
I started feeling human again today. Thank God. But, ultimately, God isnt answering my prayers for help. I cant believe I havent died yet from this.
Or, could it be a deep-seated knowledge that once I tell, I will not be able to use anymore? And then where does that leave me when I get a level 10 migraine?? Though, I have usually used all my Stadol and dont have it when I need it. Or, better yet, using it causes a severe migraine! But my REAL headaches last 72 hours and make me want to get the gun out. I am so confused.
My latest bout ended on Tuesday. I had five bottles and used them in 14 days. This particular instance left me bloated with at least 10 lbs of water weight...and my joints hurt so bad. I had "the flu" again this week to cover for my withdrawals. I have two refills left (ten more bottles) I cry and curse God when I pull away from that pharmacy drive-thru window with my bag of two weeks of hell. And I immediately open a bottle.
I started feeling human again today. Thank God. But, ultimately, God isnt answering my prayers for help. I cant believe I havent died yet from this.