Heartbroken

[mom51]

I am new here and I'm desperate for info/help/advice...anything I can get. My 24 yr old daughter who lives miles and miles away just told me over the phone that her long time boyfriend is leaving because she is overdrawn much money @ bank and it's all due to her taking oxycontin. She finally told HIM...and of course he's angry...he has his own issues with a parent who was drug/alcohol dependent for years...but now clean-but will not have anything to do with him.

She would not tell me how long or how much she's been taking.....but I suspect she's minimizing use. She told me she's not taken any for over a week and was sick two days. She's gone thru several thousands of dollars since May-her school money. Two months ago she was taken by ambulance to hospital, denied an overdose...she'd passed out and seized. The hospital made a diagnosis of gall bladder and she had surgery.

I don't know much about addictions other than what I've seen and what little I've read. I am seriously concerned about her....depression....or even to the extreme suicide. She is in nursing school and set to graduate in Dec...and has a 22 month old daughter. (Who is visiting with us for 2 weeks).

Man, I have so many questions and fears....I just don't know how to help her. She did agree in her vulnerability that she should talk with an addictions counselor....but I know her, and I don't think she will follow thru.

Is is possible she;s not taking anymore and it really only took two sick days to get off?

Any word will be appreciated...even harsh words....anything to help my daughter.

Thank you!

[grace]

I am new here, too. Just saw your plea, and had to respond. As a recovering alcoholic now struggling to get off pain medications from disc problems, my first and best suggestion is AL-ANON!

AA saved my life! Al-Anon will answer your questions, provide support, and save your sanity! Find a local chapter, or an on-line meeting, if necessary.

It's hard to say how addicted your daughter is. Every individual is different. Having been through treatment and in AA (and very cautious) I still became physically addicted in the first year (the 'buzz' only lasted a few months and many addicts then add other drugs or alcohol). Being young (and bulletproof) with plenty of money, your daughter is in serious danger. Absolutely she is minimizing -- that's what we do.

Forget about the boyfriend -- save yourself and your daughter. You do have some "leverage" to persuade her to follow through with treatment -- her daughter. It may take some work to learn "tough love", but it will save her life. An excellent book, "The Lost Years: Surviving a Mother and Daughter's Worst Nightmare", a true story written by mother and daughter, will give you strength. It is an amazing book!

Hope you've already gotten some relief -- if not, don't give up. Good luck and God bless!
grace

[gratitudealways]

I am a grateful recovering oxycontin addict and had a overwhelming need to reply to your plea.I have been clean for 7 months and the honest truth is your daughter needs a lot of help.Oxycontin or street name hillbilly heroin is one of the hardest drugs to recover from.I hope my story helps you understand the pain and misery this drug can cause.I started using the drug approx. 2 years ago and it first started with 10mg pill here and there for back pain i was experiencing.As my tolerance built up for this drug i could never get enough.I started manipulating doctors for more and more and then eventually started to buy other people's pescriptions.Like your daughter i also spent thousands of dollars and lost everything i owned.2 homes,beautiful truck and a great union job.That was just the material things.Eventually i lost my self respect and then started crushing the pills up,cooking them and injecting them into my arms for a better buzz.I became more self centered and did terrible things to continue using.At this point i was doing enough oxycontin to nod out a moose.This is the scary part of this drug is that you have to keep doing more and more to achieve the same high.Near death,suicidal and 40 pounds under weight ,a family that couldn't trust a word i said,heartbroken i finally went to recovery 10 hours away from anybody i knew.You mention your daughter was sick for 2 days!!It makes me wonder how much is she using.I spent 18 days with sickness that words can't even explain.Sorta like having the flu times 50.After spending 5 months in recovery today i live a rich,rewarding life and am very happy.Your daughter is in my prayers and i hope you get her the help she needs.The main advice i can give you is there is hope and she needs intervention or recovery of some sort.This drug is highly addictive and spirals out of control very quickly.One thing i do know about this addiction is this drug makes a person lie to their loved ones about how much their using,where their money is going ect.Hope my story helps and wish you the best of luck on this matter. I am new here and I'm desperate for info/help/advice...anything I can get. My 24 yr old daughter who lives miles and miles away just told me over the phone that her long time boyfriend is leaving because she is overdrawn much money @ bank and it's all due to her taking oxycontin. She finally told HIM...and of course he's angry...he has his own issues with a parent who was drug/alcohol dependent for years...but now clean-but will not have anything to do with him.

She would not tell me how long or how much she's been taking.....but I suspect she's minimizing use. She told me she's not taken any for over a week and was sick two days. She's gone thru several thousands of dollars since May-her school money. Two months ago she was taken by ambulance to hospital, denied an overdose...she'd passed out and seized. The hospital made a diagnosis of gall bladder and she had surgery.

I don't know much about addictions other than what I've seen and what little I've read. I am seriously concerned about her....depression....or even to the extreme suicide. She is in nursing school and set to graduate in Dec...and has a 22 month old daughter. (Who is visiting with us for 2 weeks).

Man, I have so many questions and fears....I just don't know how to help her. She did agree in her vulnerability that she should talk with an addictions counselor....but I know her, and I don't think she will follow thru.

Is is possible she;s not taking anymore and it really only took two sick days to get off?

Any word will be appreciated...even harsh words....anything to help my daughter.

Thank you!