Hello, Hello?

[mom51]

Silly me posted my first thread in the wrong place....or so it seems. So here I am lost yet again here in the newcomers meeting place

Update: My daughter has been granted a reprieve IF she will get help. And today she is to make calls as no one was around this weekend to answer calls at various Help Resources locally in her town.

She's experiencing sleeplessness, extreme restlessness, diahearrea (sp)...

at this point I want to know .....should I be so forgiving??? What stance should I take with her? Is now the time to tell her how terribly disappointed her dad and I are? Or is there time for that later? Or is there really EVER a time?

My previous post:
am new here and I'm desperate for info/help/advice...anything I can get. My 24 yr old daughter who lives miles and miles away just told me over the phone that her long time boyfriend is leaving because she is overdrawn much money @ bank and it's all due to her taking oxycontin. She finally told HIM...and of course he's angry...he has his own issues with a parent who was drug/alcohol dependent for years...but now clean-but will not have anything to do with him.

She would not tell me how long or how much she's been taking.....but I suspect she's minimizing use. She told me she's not taken any for over a week and was sick two days. She's gone thru several thousands of dollars since May-her school money. Two months ago she was taken by ambulance to hospital, denied an overdose...she'd passed out and seized. The hospital made a diagnosis of gall bladder and she had surgery.

I don't know much about addictions other than what I've seen and what little I've read. I am seriously concerned about her....depression....or even to the extreme suicide. She is in nursing school and set to graduate in Dec...and has a 22 month old daughter. (Who is visiting with us for 2 weeks).

Man, I have so many questions and fears....I just don't know how to help her. She did agree in her vulnerability that she should talk with an addictions counselor....but I know her, and I don't think she will follow thru.

Is is possible she;s not taking anymore and it really only took two sick days to get off?

Any word will be appreciated...even harsh words....anything to help my daughter.

Thank you!


P.S. I have been online devouring everybit of information I can about her addiction. Never would I have imagined that I would have a need for it.

[Minutebyminute]

Reading your post hit very close to home. I am a 28 year old female with children who has been trying to recover from the use of oxycontin, vicodin, and methadone. When you asked about telling your daughter how disappointed you are, I could think was "oh no, please don't". I know that for me right now, I could not take the negativity. Being able to talk about what I am going through, the support of loved ones, and just knowing how much people care are the things that have gotten me this far. Tell her how proud you are of her instead of how disappointed you are. I didn't want to get help because I knew that people would be disappointed in me. Once I knew that I had people standing behind me, I was much more able to think about the recovery process. Two days does seem like a short detox period, but everyone is different. I have been completely clean now for over two weeks, and I still have a really rough time. They say the depression will go away eventually (sometimes I wonder). Urge her to talk with her doctors and counselors. A lot of times people are put on anti-depressants during the recovery period. I wish you the best of luck. Just be there for her when she needs a friend and a shoulder to cry on. The overwhelming lonliness she is probably feeling can become too much.

[mom51]

Thank you so much minutebyminute!

I guess I was second guessing how I've been as a parent by changing the way I am with all my kids. I have always been positive and supportive, I wondered If perhaps I was too much so. I guess trying to find out the WHY she became involved is something the loved ones on the other end go thru.

She has appt today w/counselor after talking for awhile on phone yesterday. We'll see what his thoughts are. I've been on the phone with her and those calls get easier.....

I'm just curious and don't want to be nosey, but are you doing this on your own without help of a counselor?

Thanks again minuteby minute!!!! :)

[Minutebyminute]

You are welcome. Yes, I am doing this on my own. I have not went out to seek help from a counselor. I have a lot of support at home. I am taking it day by day and dealing with issues as they come about. It is a very hard addiction to overcome. I wish you the best with your daughter. I know that it will mean the world to her that you stand behind her. Believe me, she already knows that she has messed up. If she is seeking help then I would assume that she too wants to get better. She took one of the hardest steps already, she told you.

[mom51]

You are welcome. Yes, I am doing this on my own. I have not went out to seek help from a counselor. I have a lot of support at home. I am taking it day by day and dealing with issues as they come about. It is a very hard addiction to overcome. I wish you the best with your daughter. I know that it will mean the world to her that you stand behind her. Believe me, she already knows that she has messed up. If she is seeking help then I would assume that she too wants to get better. She took one of the hardest steps already, she told you.

And I wish YOU the best! Thanks again for the insight and well wishes!