Spending Addiction

[britjojo]

There really isn't a forum for addiction to certain behaviours, so I'll put this here.

My addiction started out when my husband started showing signs of cheating on me. I used 'retail therapy' to make myself feel better. But it got out of control.

I never wanted to be home because I was always unhappy, so I lived at the mall with my baby. Then I spent too much-and I couldn't pay a bill. That made me feel bad.....so I shopped to feel better.

I had no sense at the time, and now I am paying for it, because we are now living with relatives and have next to nothing to call our own. But I am working on it, working hard to improve our situation.

My husband WAS having an affair, and now that he is out of my life, things are looking up.

[shinningstar]

I've experienced the same thing with you Jo. But I realized addiction is not the solution of the problem. It's just sometimes we can't control our own feelings and emotions. Honestly, if I found out that my man cheated me again, addiction is not enough. Maybe more than that.

[ozzie]

I think there is always some underlying emotional problem going on with any addiction. I went through a short spell of shopping but fortunately it didn't last long enough to hurt us much.

I have found that if I'm upset about something, I still want to go shopping.

[britjojo]

And I think that I always will want to as well. But now I know that it has to be for things that we need, and not the ridiculous number of shoes, bags, and toys that I used to buy.

I realise too that every addiction has at it's roots some kind of emotional problem, and it is there that most addiction counsellors start to work. I only wish they didn't charge so much-going to the doc could almost get addictive :rolleyes:

[Flubb10]

I have a longboarding addiction. I mean I buy skateboard stuff online and I've got myself in a little bit of a hole, money wise. I'm trying really hard to quit, but like you, I have this spending problem.

[angel274998213]

whenever things get too much,,,,as they have been this past week, i go on a shopping bing,,,charging up a storm,,and then drink with my friends,,,after spending tons of money,i feel awful because know i am on the borderline of losing my home..im so depressed i dont know what to do with it so i spend, spend and then drink.

my husband was physhically and emotionnaly abusive to be for 16 years.. i finally got out then wnet crasy on this shopping spree..i think this evening i am so oonfused and upset i really just wish i had someone to talk to..i get this way alot lately..anyway, jsut felt like writing so i am doing this on here..

i am slowly getting a little better with spending,,,but i am so in debt...no i wasnt like this when i was married, because i wasnt allowed to do much of anything,,i couldnt even have a friend

well thanks for listening whoever is listening

[SingleAgain]

angel I am so sorry that you feel like this. It must be really tough.

I think we all have the guilt things after we indulge our addiciton, knowing full well that it is getting us in trouble. But it doesn't stop us doing it again the next day, a few hours later, whatever.

You are not alone, never forget that.

[hazephase]

All banks and loan companies love it when people do this to them selfs they want you to take more moeny and keep paying them more and more till you do not have any money with you I hate all these people .

[AngTexas]

That's what I decided mine was. I enjoyed the instant gratification of holding something new that was mine. Immediately changing purses to my new one or a wallet or wearing the earrings I just bought... it all gave me a high and made me forget the problems for a while.

[Archbob]

Its like a must-have for teenage girls at a certain age. They must spend every penny they have and then ask for more. Some people never grow out of it with age though. Its really a hard addiction to get rid of once you are used to it. Banks encourage it so it is even harder.

[jr_sci]

I had the same condition when my girlfriend left me. I was emotionaly down so I took up addiction. But now as I have found my new love, I realize that life is worth living not destroying.

[gonggong]

I am really at a loss here I don't know what to do or if I am being honest I am scared to do what I think I should. I am engaged to a very sweet man, kind, gentle, very loving, fun, devoted. I know he has a shopping problem, just stuff, kitchen things, fishing things, but I found out last night he is in credit card debt of between $70-80,000!!! I am very careful about not carrying credit card debt.
The scary thing is I was married to a man that was a drug addict (pills) and he really had no redeeming qualities-I married him for security-I saw what I wanted to see, and didn't see what I didn't want to. Honestly, once I found out about the pills and he didn't want to go into recovery, I left him.
Now I am scared I am doing the same thing with a much nicer man. I had gone to Alanon for about 4 years but I have not gone in the last couple years, I moved and didn't look too hard for a compatible meeting as I have been doing better....so I thought. I still read conference approved literature, but I really feel at a loss of what to even think about this. He says there is more to him than money and he is going to "take care of it" (re-mortgage his house) but what is to stop him from keeping on charging things..........if anyone has any experience with this please let me know.

[Roshni]

Girl i am happy that you are over it now and trying to improve your self all the best for a better future ahead.