Ok, here we go again

[HhasMeHooked]

Wow i feel like i just lost my best friend I took my plastic lunch box (thats where I keep my spoon, needles, cotton balls, lighters, everything I need to fix) dropped it into a metal can and set it a blaze stood and watched it melt into a molten puddle of goo. I deleted the dealers numbers from my phone. It is nearly 8 years to the day that i first put this poison into my body. And i truly want to be rid of this, wish me luck. this is about my 6th maybe 7th time to quit. Right now im three days clean and sure that this time tomorrow i'll have four.

[exjunky]

The third day is the KILLER. If you can just get through today you'll be looking good. God please don't screw up now. Today could be the biggest test of your life.

[exjunky]

Hhasmehooked: How did it go???

It's alright if things didn't work out. That just means you can't do this on your own and you need help; that doesn't make you a bad person, it puts in you in the vast majority.

But if it did go well for you, by all means tell us about it.

[HhasMeHooked]

i used, and now i'm back to day 3 and using my subxone again

[exjunky]

Sorry to hear that but no big deal if you're still in the right frame of mind.

OK, give suboxone a try. I'm assuming you have a legit prescription for suboxone, or do you buy it off the street? Anyhow assuming you have a doctor, tell him if you still have physical cravings to use--maybe he'll up your dose. It worked wonders for me.

[exjunky]

You still there??? Haven't heard from you... can only imagine the worst. But don't be ashamed, tell us, nobody is going to judge you here.

[TraumaK4ri]

Kickin' sucks. I know, I did it so many times, but the last time was 12 years ago and I can't even imagine trying to do it again. I will tell you though that my worst day was always right after I started feeling better. When your body's rebelling it makes sense, but when your mind starts telling you you're better and you can just do a little, but another part of your mind is screaming nooooooo don't do it. That sucks!`

[exjunky]

An old WC Fields joke:

"Don't tell me you can't give up alcohol... I've done it a thousand times!"

[t90smo]

I am 47 going on 28 ok 29...:D . Its been 23 + years and counting since I did my last speed ball. But you know what I still remember. I used everday for 5+ years most of who I believed were my "friends " back then are dead. Boy do I have some stories, I dont really remember them all the time they just pop up. I now have been off METHODONE for 20 years. (thats another story) . The people I have hurt, the ones I love and loved me, and 25+ years later I am fighting a battle worse then my drug habit , my 27 year old son is drinking himself to death he still maintains a job, (But for how long hes been there 4+ years like this) hes had 2 dui's and after each meeting he stops by and has a few drinks. Im glad he lives close to work and dont need a car (his broken down he just sold it) AND YES I COULD JUST DIE I HAVE ENABLED HIM TO DO SO BY HELPING HIM EVEYTIME he needed help. such a smart ,successful man who I feel GUILTY THAT I DRUG HIM THROUGH MY DRUGGIN (his dad was a drinker to). My baby who took care of me back then. I feel like it is my FAULT !!! what do I do where do I go. For me kickin the drugs was so much more easy I LOVE MY KIDS (2) he happened to be with me. my daughter was born after. I honstly dont know how to cope with this its killing me. I really really dont want to watch my son DESTROY HIS YOUNG LIFE as I did. with alcohol. But I know no matter what anyone says he has to choose, as I did back then. I need to learn to cope can my heart take it? (oops) sorry see in the end the live you have lived using always gets you somehow. its still one day at a time....:(