Anomoly
01-06-2008, 03:25 AM
Hi,
I started smoking resin when I was 15 and it quickly took a hold of my life. Ive spent all of my life with a rare syndrome which I didnt understand and never talked about. I couldnt open up to my friends because I had no answers and pushed most of them away. I did the same with girlfriends so could never hold down a relationship. The resin took the edge off my troubles but my life very much stalled.
When I got to 23 (still on the resin) i met a beutiful girl who changed my life and helped me understand what my rare condition was. I was so happy that someone had actually accepted me for the person I am and decided to try and give up, however this made me very anxious and had very negative affects on my relationship allthough I kept going with it and virtually stopped.
But then, about a year ago this girl whom I was in love with broke my heart and I was left on the brink of suicide. I immediatly went back on the resin but relised it was no good. I contacted a friend who came round with some weed and as soon as I took it I relised it was going to help me. It eased immense pain i had inside me and I can honestly say it was the number one factor in getting me through the worst time of my life.
Im 26 now and allthough I have sort of rebuilt my life I do feel im back to square one. Im not indenial, I know how serious this is even though the weed helped me so much, without it I probably wouldnt be here to write this. I dont need the weed for my illness, I dont suffer pain from it. I feel im good looking guy and I am attractig the women but im back to pushing them away and I dont know which way to turn.
I made a new years resolution to stop and ive made it 6 days but im not sleeping and im more anxious than usual.
I started smoking resin when I was 15 and it quickly took a hold of my life. Ive spent all of my life with a rare syndrome which I didnt understand and never talked about. I couldnt open up to my friends because I had no answers and pushed most of them away. I did the same with girlfriends so could never hold down a relationship. The resin took the edge off my troubles but my life very much stalled.
When I got to 23 (still on the resin) i met a beutiful girl who changed my life and helped me understand what my rare condition was. I was so happy that someone had actually accepted me for the person I am and decided to try and give up, however this made me very anxious and had very negative affects on my relationship allthough I kept going with it and virtually stopped.
But then, about a year ago this girl whom I was in love with broke my heart and I was left on the brink of suicide. I immediatly went back on the resin but relised it was no good. I contacted a friend who came round with some weed and as soon as I took it I relised it was going to help me. It eased immense pain i had inside me and I can honestly say it was the number one factor in getting me through the worst time of my life.
Im 26 now and allthough I have sort of rebuilt my life I do feel im back to square one. Im not indenial, I know how serious this is even though the weed helped me so much, without it I probably wouldnt be here to write this. I dont need the weed for my illness, I dont suffer pain from it. I feel im good looking guy and I am attractig the women but im back to pushing them away and I dont know which way to turn.
I made a new years resolution to stop and ive made it 6 days but im not sleeping and im more anxious than usual.