I think I am codependant.

[chefshape]

I am a recovering addict and recently I think I have found I am codependant on my wife, this wek she has been out on a very regular basis and I have asked if she would set aside time for us two, not much just an hour or so but she dosent seem to want to do it, (this is my interpritation at this point in time) Last week i was very secure in my relationship. The things she is saying seems to want to hurt me, I said I would let her have a lie in as she had been working all week and I would walk to work, shw went whooooo saying it in your deep voice, all I wanted to do was show her I loved her by givivg her a lie in, she used to complain I never showed I loved her and I was selfish.
I am feeling very rejected and have plans in my head to make her feel guilty for not being here and not doing stuff round the house all kinds of imaginations to make her stay home with me. I am feeling jealous, paranoid, hurting, rejected, unloved, unwanted. and although I have felt like this regular over many years this time all this has accumilated in less than a week.
I have a feeling my wife is codependant (unknowingly to her) but its not me she is codependant on.
I want to want my wife and not need my wife, I love her more than anything in the world and hate feeling like this.
Please can anyone help.

[Jackie]

Hey! As a recovering alcoholic you know what you have to better then most people. And the good news is that you can do it - you're doing it right now. If your wife is co-dependent then there is nothing you can do about it. She is in her head space and you are in yours. You're panicky right now - trying to get control when you know that you need acceptance. Stay in your own head space. Think about what is so different this week from last week and work out what you can do about it for you. It sounds like you are just trying to be supportive of your wife - but only you know if this is true or whether you were being needy. Either way, her reaction is her reaction. It doesn't have to become yours. You're gonna be ok. You've dealt with worse and you have all that experience to draw on. Good luck.