Desperately in need of real advice...

[Plex]

Hello dear reader,

I am someone who has recently turned 22 yrs old. I do not go to school, nor do I work, nor do I have any friends. I live at home all alone, day in and day out. I am alone and yet I live with people. I am among others, just like me and at the same time completely different. If you must know, I live with both my parents, grandmother and sister (whom, by the way, goes to a university and she's 4 yrs my junior). It's a lonely existence that I lead. At the moment, I'm taking antipsychotic medication, which makes me see my life more clearly, or so I'm told. I've got nothing. Not much. I feel like it'll all be over soon. One way or another this life will end. I'm just afraid that it'll end up being my life and not my lifestyle. I am here on a computer (my last resort) searching for answers. I've got tons of questions. It makes little sense. It's not my mind that's crazy, it's the world. My world.

I used to have friends (and a special someone), I went to school, worked part time and most importantly, I had my health. Something happened. My father become mentally ill and tried to hang himself. I joined my high school's football team and started going to various parties with some of my new buddies. Smoking cigarettes/marijuana and drinking beer, became a daily thing. Something to do. Then something hated. I kept it up, because it made my feel much better then I did without it. I'm also told that during this time, I started to experience the first symptoms of schizophrenia. I didn't know this, so I used more drugs and alcohol. Coffee, cigarettes, and beer. All day long and everyday. Eventually, my schizophrenia symptoms got so bad that I could not function properly in a social setting. Paranoia, hallucinations, voices and etcetera. It was bad, very bad.

I stopped socializing and I stopped going outside. THIS is where all hell broke loose. I became completely psychotic (of course I had no idea). I still have a few papers from one of those long nights in which I would spend hours writing in notebooks. I've read bits and pieces and it's scary. I don't remember, nor do I understand what I was writing about.

I've been diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia and I'm currently taking a few mg of Risperdol to control it.

I can't go on like this.

I've stopped using all my addictions for some time now - a few months (7-8mths) and I'll keep it that way. I've also started to exercise some and I've started to eat much more healthy food. Sofar, it's not working very well. I might be the pills, but I feel like cr@p and it feels like it's getting worse. I'm losing hope and blah...

I need a new lifestyle. Something which will help me live a better life (ex. herbs, colon cleanse, going back to school...).

What are some of your secrets? What makes you feel better and get motivated?

(etcetra???)

Thanks,

Plex

[esbesnez]

let me tell you what i would do in your situation. id get onto the methadone. the reason i say this is because when you first decide to stop its quite likely in the early days you are going to stumble and fall possibly a few times, while family might not agree i say that it cant be heald against you that you have fallen as long as you immediately set yourself on track and put real effort into trying not to make the same mistakes. atleast when you have these little falls you have the methadone there to back you up,where if you just did a detox once you have fallen too many times thats it your back where you started from with a major habit doing all the things you were doing b4, see with methadone you are taking something to keep you ok physically while you work on the mental side of the addiction, eventually when you get to the point where your not useing at all and havnt been for say a year then you can decide do i want to get off this too and am i strong enough now that ive had 12 months clean time to be able to fight temptations as you wean yourself off it, or like me maybe youll decide, look sure its a hassle in many areas but thats the price i pay for screwing up and i am just greatful to be living a normal life as opposed to how i was living back at my lowest point b4 i was on done. really what i have in my life is worth so much to me it is worth the few inconveniences, cuz id be a lot worse off if i wasnt on done. hope you make sence of what ive written.

[lost cause69]

He hasn't mentioned Heroin!
What the hell are you telling this person?Im on methadone have been for years it's horrible,worse than Heroin to come off.
What you need to plex is to join a self help group for starters,someone to identify with,then take up a hobby,could be martial arts for mental and physical fitness like i have or it could be something completely different.
Don't listen to esbesnez he's talking crap,unless you're a heavy Heroin user like i was for a long period of time Methadone is a no no.
What i think part of your problem is it's your self esteem that's taken a battering.
Drink and drugs try Narcotics anonymous mate,it might or might not be for you.
You'll find people there from all walks of life and they'll be welcoming and friendly,and you'll probably notice that you can relate in part to most peoples shares.
Good luck! :) You can e.mail me at geedotcom@hotmail.com if you need to.

[The_Seeker]

I am telling YOU RIGHT NOW the ONLY thing that will work for you IF you have enough guts to try it is getting to a Psych and working with him on a regular basis as some meds will work and some just wont, you need a top Dr who gives a damn and so I AM TELLING you to make SURE the psych is one that is ALSO an addictions certified Psych who has a history of working with people like yourself. I have extensive knowledge of people living the way I am telling you to live and they are mostly happy, healthy people with social lives and if they are lucky enough and learn to play nice........relationships!

I am an older guy (48) and have been around addicitons long enough to tell you that you have 2 choices and they are to go this route (Dr and then abstain from all drinks and drugs through Alcoholics Anonymous --or --Narcotics Anonymous where other people like yourself ARE recovering from like problems BUT it make take you awhile to meet them so just stick with it until you have a network of friends at "AA--OR--NA"
You need to be responsible enough and TOUGH enough to take control of your life, and so stop whining and get up off the couch and get moving on the Dr thing and then make contact with AA which you can do by "googling" alcoholics anonymous" and your zip code or city name or area.
Good luck I KNOW you can do this now get going and I PROMISE you this........if you do listen to me you WILL live a life beyond your wildest dreams!!
Go gettem Tiger!