esbesnez
02-16-2008, 02:59 AM
:confused: you often hear people talk about relationships they have had with adicts and all the lyeing and cheating and scamming they had to live with and while thats all true, we never hear the other side of things, what its like to be an adict with a straight partner-the distrust, possesive behaviour, being isolated from people and places. i have been a person who was straight and in a relationship with an adict and i admit it was extremely trying i would never again get into another relationship like that. then years later i got into a relationship with a straight man, and i was now a heroin adict. id been using on and off about 6 years and was on the done aswell, then i meet this working class guy i fall pregnant after a few months and i decide to keep the child and stop using drugs, just remain on methadone. Thats where i signed myself up for the huge battle. i did stop useing, the baby who i call my angel, gave me a second chance, and i took it but the relationship was doomed to fail. in the beginning of the pregnancy i had the father and his mum following me around in front of my other then 5 year old child aswell as everyone in the street calling me a junky and a lot of nasty names. they threatened me to have an abortion or they would take me to court and take her from me and adopt her out. they did many things to try to make me lose my 5 year old as i wouldnt have an abortion, i had docs turning up at the school and all the lies they had told to make me lose my child. at that time id only been clean about 3 mths and my emotional state of pregnancy had me in a real state as i believed they would take my baby as they had money and jobs and i had a terrible past and only just stopped useing.it was an extremely stressful time, being pregnant with everyone against me, no support and afraid id lose both children. eventually i got back with the dad and we had the baby together he came round eventually when he realised i really wasnt going to use anymore. then when our baby was born there were other issues he never let me go to visit my family (i had no friends i left them behind) i wasnt allowed to go shopping or anywhere unless he or his mum came with me. in the beginning i accepted this as i thaught it would stop once he kn ew he could trust me, 18 mths later and if i wanted to go out and he and his mum were both busy he wouldnt let me go . if i went anyway id come home and be told to pack and leave and that i cant take bub with me , or id be treated like shit, id do urine tests to prove myself and until the results came in id spend all week in tears being threatened hed take the kids and being called names and being abused and when the results came back clean he would stop abusing me but hed never say sorry, he fealt i just had to accept its hard for him to trust me as im an ex adict. we broke up two days after xmas just gone. i have both my children, and i still dont use but i am still on methadone. if i ever have another relationship i wont tell them about my past.