lilmisskate
03-10-2008, 06:34 AM
hi...
i didnt know where to talk to anybody. i dont really have any friends, or the friends i have dont want to hear about it. or they want me high.
i smoke about an ounce a week. 2 weeks ago, my roommate got arrested and the worst thing going through my mind was whether or not i should flush the weed, and where i would find more. i've chosen weed over food a bunch of times (though im an ex-anorexic, so food has never been high on my priorities list). my exfiance/best friend told me that if i smoked anymore, he would stop talking to me and get a restraining order on me, and possibly arrest me (he's a cop). but i keep on smoking. i've prostituted myself for weed money.
my roommate, before he lived with me, was homeless and addicted to crack. when he started living with me was when we started going through ounces a week. i agreed to get off xanax bars and he agreed to get off crack, so we got high off weed instead and figured it was safer. and i didnt worry about being addicted because i wasn't doing it alone, it was a social thing. we just always had something to celebrate about. and he was always here to reassure me that we werent addicted, we were self-medicating our respective old addictions, as well as our bipolar-ness. but now that he's been arrested, i keep doing it every night alone, and wake and bake on weekends, and i feel worse and worse about it so i smoke more until i pass out every night.
but the thing is that it doesn't interfere with my work. in fact, i'm excelling at work. i just got promoted and have already impressed my new boss with my work ethic. i've only been smoking since early december 2007 and i recently spent 2 days completely sober without wanting it at all. i always get everything done that needs to get done before i smoke, and i'm facing a month of having a very limited supply and i'm ok with that.
i don't know. im used to people running my life for me. i might just be looking for someone to reassure me that i'm not addicted. but i'm on my way to my first step if i am addicted, so i guess im just looking for opinions.
i didnt know where to talk to anybody. i dont really have any friends, or the friends i have dont want to hear about it. or they want me high.
i smoke about an ounce a week. 2 weeks ago, my roommate got arrested and the worst thing going through my mind was whether or not i should flush the weed, and where i would find more. i've chosen weed over food a bunch of times (though im an ex-anorexic, so food has never been high on my priorities list). my exfiance/best friend told me that if i smoked anymore, he would stop talking to me and get a restraining order on me, and possibly arrest me (he's a cop). but i keep on smoking. i've prostituted myself for weed money.
my roommate, before he lived with me, was homeless and addicted to crack. when he started living with me was when we started going through ounces a week. i agreed to get off xanax bars and he agreed to get off crack, so we got high off weed instead and figured it was safer. and i didnt worry about being addicted because i wasn't doing it alone, it was a social thing. we just always had something to celebrate about. and he was always here to reassure me that we werent addicted, we were self-medicating our respective old addictions, as well as our bipolar-ness. but now that he's been arrested, i keep doing it every night alone, and wake and bake on weekends, and i feel worse and worse about it so i smoke more until i pass out every night.
but the thing is that it doesn't interfere with my work. in fact, i'm excelling at work. i just got promoted and have already impressed my new boss with my work ethic. i've only been smoking since early december 2007 and i recently spent 2 days completely sober without wanting it at all. i always get everything done that needs to get done before i smoke, and i'm facing a month of having a very limited supply and i'm ok with that.
i don't know. im used to people running my life for me. i might just be looking for someone to reassure me that i'm not addicted. but i'm on my way to my first step if i am addicted, so i guess im just looking for opinions.