Mistakes make you who you are today

[vixta]

I was given cocaine for the first time 18 months ago by a new partner. He fed me it every day and since we split last year I have continued the habit, I spend at least £75 a day,money I do not have, My life savings have gone and now I owe the dealer thousands.
I am 24, I live with my 3 kids, I have lost my friends and I am on the verge of being kicked out of college.
When I look in the mirror I can see a huge whole in the skin that seperates my nostrils.
I was once a girl that frowned on drug users and I swore I would never touch drugs. My ex was controlling, that Saturday night 18months ago he shouted at me to take a pill, saying I was making him look stupid.... I wish I had stood upto him, I look in the mirror and I dont recognise the figure glaring back at me, I am 2 stone lighter than my usual weight, pale complexion and I cannot focus my eyes, I choke when I lie in bed to sleep, I have a constant blocked and runny nose. Paranoid and anxious I am prescribed anti depressants.
All I ask is how can I stop?? please help me x

[lowster11]

Hi vixta,

Have you considered going into treatment? I think you should do something before you lose those 3 kids, it happened to me, and that was my rock bottom.
Sometimes it takes hitting rock bottom :(

[vixta]

Hi thanks for your reply, I telephoned a few local drug services but all they said was I need to work on the reason I use it to stop, so I was referred for counselling. Everybody tells me that cocaine is not addictive, but I cannot get out of bed without it. Ive lost my family and friends, Ive being told by a friend they would help. but all they did was shout at me if I addmitted taking some.

[philly143]

hi vixta, guess i can relate to the friend shouting..we mean no harm just we are in the dark as much as the user..we non users just seem to think how can you do this. i am new to a coke problem that my son has and i am trying very hard to understand how he could have done that...i'm scared ,angry,disappointed,loving ,caring so many emotions rushing..dear please try to get the help you need ..I know some are just to expensive but i keep looking for my son because he is worth it and so are you