well... this is it!

[AKN]

I've made a dramatic commitment now. I got a tattoo yesterday to mark the last day I got stoned. I never done any form of body modification before, so it's a pretty big deal. So I will either have a permanent mark on my body as a symbol of my success or a permanent reminder of failure. There's no turning back now.

Now I know not everyone will think this is a good idea, but I'd really appreciate not hearing a bunch of negative comments or stories of people who did the same thing and failed miserably. I'm also not recommending this to anyone. I know it will get harder but this is the first day I haven't felt like getting stoned in years. I just can't, this tattoo can not represent my failure. It will bother me for the rest of my life. If that happened, i'd probably just give up on quitting. So there's no going back now... just wanted to share. I will check back with my progress.

The practical thing I did today to support this, was to go out and buy some books and puzzles to fill the time. Never been into puzzles before, but sounded relaxing and not too difficult to do with no sleep. I associate computer games too much with smoking, so wanted to steer clear of that. I want to try and do something positive for myself every day i don't smoke.

Wish me luck!

[erbalibera]

Hey, I just flushed the last of my weed down the toilet yesterday ( it wasn't much, I admit) and today is the first day of sunshine my city has had since February. I wish you all kinds of luck, frankly that is my strategy as well, that is, staying busy. Rather than puzzles I will garden and be doing tons of homework. Stay in touch and let us know how your doing...

[AKN]

Thanks :D

Doesn't matter how much weed it is.. it's damn hard to flush. Good for you! Obviously i'm no expert on quitting, but i think symbolic gestures can be meaningful. I've tried to quit so many times and failed and it's so discouraging. I have been asking myself what will be different about the time when I really do quit? At first it was kinda rhetorical, but then started thinking of what i could really do that is meaningful. And... getting a tattoo is certainly something different!

If you or anyone is curious... the tattoo is a yin-yang symbol using black and white kitties. I love my kitties a lot, have had them for a long time, and I want to take the best care of them I can, but between second-hand smoke and my often being really spaced out.... the best isnt what happens. But that idea expands out to I can't do my best at anything when I'm stoned. I could just take care of my life better. I've smoked for 20 years, more heavily the past ten, and insanely much in the past year or two. It's just too much. I need a little balance.

For me, the killer so many times is this little idea that I can just smoke this joint... or just tonight... or well, just this weekend... eh, but monday's suck... oops, i have some left over... ah well so tuesday is up in smoke. ah well, maybe better just do it next week... arrrgggghhhh!! There just can't be a 'just this one time' for me. This is the idea that I have to get and keep in my head. I think the tattoo helps for this because it makes me acknowledge that this 'just this one time' is a big deal and not a "ah well..." decision. I can't start over next week now!

Hey, glad you mentioned gardening... i like that too, only have a balcony but looked really nice last year and grew some tomatoes and strawberries... but now it's a big post-winter mess. I think i'll do that this weekend and go to the nursery... love that, always puts me in a good mood. :)

I'll be back... there's so much time to spend when not high, might end up writing too much. but this board could use some more action. I'm also avoiding drinking, i'm not much of a drinker but have drank more when i quit weed before, but it messes with my judgement too much. that 'just one' speech i give myself sounds really convincing if i'm buzzed.

[dtitlebaum]

AKN finds it easier to smoke if judgment has been blurred by drinking.
my experience is the opposite. Drinking 'changes' things adequately and
i don't want to smoke as much. A different perspective becomes obvious
again and that is enough.
But the weed perspective is really powerful for me.

its just this sense of 'stopping.'
The sense of having some answers to things or creating new possibilities.
I feel like I can trust my judgment better or more.
The true essence of things come through more powerfully.

Those are the reasons that I gravitate towards the marijuana perspective.
I'm not an all-day/everyday guy. But just totally getting rid of it doesn't feel
like it is a pro ductive or positive move given the benefits received.

[Can't tell the world]

I am very new to this website and I think I have found a home. I don't want to get a tattoo but the idea of something so permanent is a good idea. I just can't stop smoking. I can stop if needed but the minute that my "cause" is fulfilled everything goes back to the way it was. Maybe people that are just like me can help...
Good luck w ur mission! God knows we all need it.

[jenny]

I am very new to this website and I think I have found a home. I don't want to get a tattoo but the idea of something so permanent is a good idea. I just can't stop smoking. I can stop if needed but the minute that my "cause" is fulfilled everything goes back to the way it was. Maybe people that are just like me can help...
Good luck w ur mission! God knows we all need it.

I don't think people just like you can help you in any way.