Paranoid & trying to quit
Been smoking for about 12 years now and have taken class A drugs a few times when I was younger. A cocktail of Class A drugs combined with pot caused me to become delusional. I had been smoking a lot of pot (about 5 a day) leading up to this life changing event. I suffered the loss of my best friend as well which may have contributed to the psychotic episode... I was trapped in mental hell for a few months and had to go on medication to try and ease the confusion and paranoia.
I stopped smoking religiously for a couple of years, the paranoia eased but the conspiracy theories I perceived continued (but I was coping with life)... BUT every time I smoke a pot, my paranoia intensifies and the conspiracy grows and becomes very real at times. I have quit jobs, shut family off and lost friends because of the paranoia. In fact I've lost a few years of my life, sitting on the sofa analyzing everything and fitting it into my conspiracies...
Anyway, I need to turn my life around and leave the pot behind, it's reduced me to half the man I used to be and I am worried that if I lose my wife I will never find companionship again because I am a paranoid... I need to stop smoking pot if I am to have any hope of living some kind of a fulfilling life.
I'm struggling though, it's too easy to get hold of and I can always find justification for getting some even though I know it is doing my mental state some serious damage.
Does anyone have any tips on kicking it for good?
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