Family Therapy with Drug Abuse and Addiction


Family Therapy with Drug Abuse and Addiction

The role of the family when dealing with drug abuse and addiction is a huge one. Family therapy can have a huge impact in conquering the drug abuse and addiction that has affected, most likely, every aspect of your family dynamics. It’s not an easy road to walk on, but when family therapy is implemented, you all will learn how to deal with drug abuse and addiction in a healthy and productive way.



When your loved one is in a rehab clinic, you will likely be asked to attend family therapy sessions on site. This is an extremely important part of the recovery process. You may be hesitant to attend these sessions, but rest assured that they will be life-affirming for not only you, but your loved one as well.


Often, the person who has the addiction is feeling alone and withdrawn from the family. That could be the reason why he or she began using in the first place. People who abuse drugs are looking for a way to fit in a tool to help them be part of something when they feel alone. That often has to do with feeling alienated from the family.


When you participate in family therapy, you are telling your loved one that you care about them and their recovery and that it is important to you. If you find yourself resistant to participation, just keep in mind that you are there to learn and to help. It is important to show your support when a loved one has an abuse or addiction problem with drugs.


Family therapy can actually strengthen your family in ways you never even considered before. What family can’t use a little advice and guidance when it comes to their lives?


In today’s world, dysfunction is a family dynamic that is all too common. When you are participating in family therapy for drug abuse and addiction, you are saying that you want something to change within that family dynamic and make it better than it is. You may think you have the perfect family, but no one really does. A little soul searching can go a long way especially for the family member who is struggling with abuse and addiction.


Substance abuse affects families there’s no doubt about that. Whether your loved one is in an inpatient program or outpatient program, it’s essential that you obtain family therapy for drug abuse or addiction in some shape or form. You’ll all be much better for it, and your loved one will have an easier time becoming drug-free.

Post Discussion

  1. Addict

    My husband was recently transfered to the south Kortrigt facility, our marriage has been ending due to his addiction and my turning my back on the fact he truely needed help. I want to let everyone know I am here and willing to help in anyway possible. We love him and want him to succeed.

  2. Addict

    In the story of the Excorsist, an otherwise sweet child was posessed by a demon. That is the story of addiction.
    We employ rational and reasonable acts of "help" to our afflicted loved ones, but they are incapable of any expected reasonable responce because they are essentially posessed by a cunning and manipulative drug that replaces who they otherwise are without the drug.
    It is very important for family members to educate themselves about the bio chemistry that is occuring in their loved one to understand the true nature of how "posessed" by the disease their loved one is. This will allow them to take issues such as blame, shame,anger and misguided cause off the table and focus on actions that will help.
    Once understood family members are better suited to recognise, react, and speak to the disease while also promoting and supporting the spirit of the person they love.
    It is very important for family to separate the demon from the person, and know the difference. Ultimatly, that is the difficult battle that the afflicted loved one faces within themselves and as much as we may see ourselves as victims, they are the ultimate victims of this cruel disease.

  3. Addict

    I work at a residential rehab and we continually ask that the family stay involved with the recovery process. We know that it is very tough for the families and the addicts who are dealing with substance abuse issues. In my opinion, with out the help of the families, I do not think that we would be able to truly help substance abuser\'s get fully recovered. Every time we have an individual enter our program we immediately get in touch with the family and work with them as much as possible to provide the best care possible to the individual and give the family back that person they once lost.

  4. Addict

    GKJ's analogy of the demon-possessed child in the Exorcist is very accurate. It has helped me to put things in perspective as to how to look at a family member who is into substance abuse. But may I know how to educate ourselves on the bio chemistry occuring and how to speak to the disease. I am listening.

  5. Addict

    we need to quit smoking weed

  6. Addict

    Everyone, there is help in Christina Grof's books.

  7. Addict

    If any one can help; me understand percoset abuse i would appriciate an email. myb life is falling apart because my spouse is addicted and i cant help him.

  8. Addict

    I have a son who is 30 years old and has been abusing drugs and alcohol since he was 18. He has been in and out of jail and rehabs. I have tried everything I know. I just hate to sit by and watch my son die slowly everyday. He is losing weight again and never has any money. I know he using hard drugs. My hands seem to be tied. All I can do is pray for him everyday.

  9. Addict

    My 18 year old son has been having major mood swings for 5 years. I recently found out that he started using pot at the age of 12. He now will take anything he can get his hands on. He has been stealing money and hocking everything in his path. I have gone through the whole gammet of emotions, (guilt, anger,ect...) He has recently admitted to being hooked on crack. I am at a loss, I don't even know what it is. How can I help him, get him into rehab. He refuses to go. We are at our wits end. Do we just push him out . Sometimes I feel as if we are enableing him by keeping him in a vehicle, job, and home to live in. Help with info would be greatly appreciated. Thank You .

  10. Addict

    This is the first time i logged in this webpage. I am desperate. My 22 yr old daughter is tided up to the devil/drug addiction. She just became a mother in Octobr 2007. She has a healthy and beautiful baby girl. I dont know what to do. She has lapsed three times already since she gave birth. I dont know what to do. I think I have been living a lie, and I dont want to see what is right there in front of me. She was clean and sober for almost the entire pregnancy, however, has lapsed 3 times already. She has been in a 3 month program and since then never back to one. Are these lapses, a sign or proof that she will be back to the streets or what? Does she need to go back to a rehab center? If someone can email me back and give me advise I will appreciated.

    • Addict

      Find an Al-Anon meeting and attend at least 6 meetings -- try different meetings. When you find the one that is best for you, don't stop attending. Not only are addicts made sick by this disease, but so are family and friends. Not only do we need our own recovery, but we need to stop contributing to our loved one's addictions by enabling them. It can be next to impossible to see the things we do to contribute to the addiction until we get around other people who have been there before us. Ultimately, our loved ones need to want their own recovery enough to seek it and keep it. And if we can become sane, that can help them to want their own recovery. Go to Al-Anon and don't quit.

  11. Addict

    I read these comments over and over and over again. Blog after blog. Website after website. But is anyone helping us? My family has tried for the past two years to get my 22 year old herion-addicted son any kind of help. You name it, we've done it. So we sit and watch him waste away. You say I and my husband should understand all the chemistry-related material out there. We have. Do we have a good perspective about what has happened to our son? You bet we do. Are we crying anymore? No, we are numb. Will we always be there for him? Yes, until he takes his last breath.

  12. Addict

    my husband and i been married for almost 8 years now,m and for the most part of it we have been happily married, due to the fact that he has not used any drugs; he began using cocaine and heroin since he was a tenager, as a result of his parents spliting up, he had never since gotten any help, any rehab, he has been in and out of juvis without ever getting proper treatment or support from his family, from his father mostly because he was unaware of these drugs the power that it has over someone and believed him anytime he told him that he will quit...when we got married he was well than for more than 2 years, and i thought that everything was fine , we have been married for almost 8 years now and for almost 4 years he had started to use on and off cocaine and heroin, mostly heroin, we had gotten him into an inhouse treatment center he had attended on and off AA meetings, however nothing was consistent; i love him very much and i never hesitate telling him that; i have been doing everything that i learned and everything that i can to help him get better, i know that deep down he wants to quit but this deases got a hold of him good; PLEASE HELP US! i have been by his side many sleeples nights, i chased him many times when he got out of the house in a rage, i would like to know how to help him how to understand exactly what he is going thru, i would like to attend some family group meetings that go thru the same thing i am, so that i can be a better help ... please i know i have taken too much out of your time, but i hav nowhere else to go and get help, my family has been great and we all have been praying for him, ther is not a day that goes by that i dont hold him or tell him how appreciated it he is and how dead we are without him in our lives.

  13. Addict

    This is my first time logging into this website and asking for advice on how to cope with drug addicts in my life.

    First, there is my brother who is a heroin addict/recovering addict. He is attempting to get clean again but it's not going so well. My father and I are both having a difficult time dealing with the possibility that cutting my brother off is the only way he will hit rock bottom and realize that he wants to make an honest effort to get clean.

    Then, there is my boyfriend. We have been together for about six months now. About two months into our relationship he told be he was a recovering heroin addict. He had been clean for a few months at that point. He recently told me he has been using again for the past month. He just left town for the week to try and get back on track.

    I couldn't walk away from my boyfriend when he first told me because he was really trying to stay clean. I couldn't walk away from him now because I care even more.

    Both my brother and boyfriend are dealing with this horrible addiction and I feel absolutely helpless. I'm not sure how to be supportive anymore. I want to find a support group in order to gain a better understanding of what both of them are dealing with. Are there any meetings for family members dealing with drug addicts in the Baltimore area?

  14. Addict

    it is just unbelievable how devastating drug addicition can be on the user and the impact it has on famiy and friends. My son is addicted to heroin and I cant count how any \'fresh starts\' he has had. Everytime those that care for hi try and help and maintain hope that this time it will be different. It is so very hard and torturous to watch the deterioration of your flesh and blood, to see a beautiful soul transformed into an unrecognisable monster. Our failies hearts go out to all those addicted and just as uch to their family and friends who have no choice but to endure and maintain hope against hope.

  15. Addict

    AT 3:45 am I was awakened with a phone call from my brother whom I had not spoken to in over 10 years. He was crying he was dying and wanted me to come to him back east. Leave my job, tell no other family members, and be with him in his last 90 days. Our family is all bi-polar, he has never been treated. He has smoke marijuna all his life secretly. I was sad and scared at the same time. i did not hear from him again for days. I got a call yesterday, it was from a rehad center so I know he gettting some kind of treatment. I do not know what to do. How can I help him most? To take time off I will have to take FMLA so as not to loose my insurance and without pay. My brother says he is sending me money to take care of expenses and he really wants me to move back there to learn his business. He says he is dying not that he is addicted. If a person has used MJ since they were a teenager till age 51, how long does it take to kick the habbit? Can it kill them? He sounded like he was dying. I don't know if that is all he is using. I am about to feel I need to be committed myself since I can not talk to anyone and even little to him at this point. Any information.

  16. Addict

    My partner is addicted to alcohol and xanax. She has been in AA, rehab, and a psychiatric hospital. I no longer trust anything she says. I just want to know how people stay with their loved ones after going through disappointment after disappointment. At what point can you begin to trust again?

    • Addict

      I know exactly what ya mean, I want to know the same thing, its so hard going through disappointment after disappointment, I'm having such a hard time dealing with it. It makes me want to leave my boyfriend cause i feel like i just cant handle anymore. I just don't know what to do??

  17. Addict

    Where do you draw the line?? I have spent every dime--including all the equity in my home to try to help my child (young adult) He has been to 3 very expensive rehab centers including a 5 month long term care facility. He has had out patient counseling and support. I have attended all the family sessions. At this time he has a good job ---but-- I see the cycle beginniing again it just keeps going over and over 5 steps forward 25 back I don\'t know how to try to help him and love him so much it hurts---I am so so weary and out of money and trying to recover from a serious illness myself---how do you find the wherewithall to keep trying??? Any suggestions.

    • Addict

      I have been reading blogs and researching drug addiction and yours stood out. My sister-n-law is an addict. She has three children that were just placed in custody of her parents after being under DSS custody for several months. She is currently fours months pregnant. I've been in the family for 10 + years and she has always abused street drugs as well as prescription drugs. I know you wrote asking for suggestions but I noticed the date was a couple years ago. I'm just wondering how things are now and what should I do for her. I'm so angry, hurt, & disappointed but on the same hand I love her and her kids and I so want her to get help! Thanks

  18. Addict

    I read all these blogs and I say to myself, wow, we aren\'t alone. My son is 26, we stayed clean for a year and 2 weeks, then for a reason I will never understand picked up again. It has been a month now and he is just can\'t stop. He is also bipolar and is on depression med\'s. I feel the same as another person by saying you just sit and watch them die a slow death. We have gone through all the rehab\'s, out patient, sponsor, meetings, etc. But it has such a hold on him. I just cry and sometimes just pray that if this is his life for ever that God would just take him now so that he does not have to endure all the pain. I would say \"help\" however, it seems that so far no one has an answer. Thanks for listening.

  19. Addict

    to diana and deb, i'm in the same position. i know how you feel and i'm sorry. i'm thankful that i've still got so much sadness though, if i were indifferent, i'd be giving up hope. i wish my daughter didn't suffer so much, our family suffering is nothing compared to my childs'.

  20. Addict

    Our 30 year old son has been on drugs for over 18 yrs, in prison, re-hab and he does good for alittle while, then he starts going to a dr. for prescription meds. and they give him 100 pills for one month. He doesn't need this and won't tell the dr. he is an addict. I can't stand this anymore, he is such a good guy off drugs and I feel that if I don't answer that phone call or check on him, he'll die and I won't be able to live with myself. I know tuff love, then what suffer the consequenses?

  21. Addict

    My 30 year old daughter has been addicted since she was about 18. I denied it for a few years and then I couldn't anymore. She has two children who are now 12 and 13. She lost custody 1 year ago to her brother. Thank God for him and his wife who are raising them. She went to a 30 day rehab which worked for about 2 weeks. She is now in a sober living house and can stay for up to 2 years. The last time she went on a binge she got a DUI. I was furious. I have spent years trying to help her. I have bailed her out so many times and that was the worst thing I could have done. This last time I told her that I was done. I am tired. I also told her that I was going down to the funereal home and prepaying for her funeral because she was going to die. I aabsolutely refused to let her come to my house and her brother told her to never call him or her children again until she was clean. Her father and his wife and her other sister told her the same thing. She was and is out of options. As her mother it was the hardest thing that I have ever done. But I think that it is when she realized that she had hit bottom. I raised her alone and have always been the best mother and friend that I could be to her. She was absolutely devestated. We all have told her that if she doesn't get clean she has no where to go. Hopefully, tough love is going to work. I love her dearly but I refuse to participate in her death. She will have to die alone or she will have to get clean. Not much of a choice.

  22. Addict

    My husband has been a weed addict for a while now and I feel like I am going to explode. I feel like I am loosing him to this bad habbit. Everytime he is out I am waiting for his return to see if he is okay or high. I think that I am an addict to his habbit. Ever since I foung weed hidden in our car numerous of times I am always sneaking around his things making sure that there is nothing there. He says that weed is not a drug and that it's all natural stuff that can't harm you. I know better than to believe that! He can't seen to understand that it is a drug and that he is an addict to it. When you start to hide it's obvious to see that theren is a problem. Every time he tells me that he stopped, a couple of days/weeks later he proves me wrong, again. I don't know how to trust him. What hurts me the most is that the day of our wedding he smoked weed a couple of hours before. I married a man who told me that he had stopped smoking that stuff months before our wedding and I believed him. I feel like I am going crazy and sometimes feel like giving up and just leave him. I can't get him help if he doesn't see his habbit as a problem. He thinks that he can stop whenever he wants. What is he waiting for? He is breaking us up. Sometimes after long hours at work I don't feel like going home because I don't know how I will see him that day. I just don't know what to do anymore. Is there anyone that can help me in any way?

  23. Addict

    hey guys. My sister is a very rebelious child and my mom just recently kicked her out. My mom has been severley depressed about it. She also has fibromayalgia and degeneritive disk disease so she takes oxycodon for pain. She can never sleep so she takes amnitryptoline. She has mood problems so she takes effexor. And for depression she take Xanax. The effexor, oxycodon, and amnitryptoline have never bothered her. But now she is heavily addicted to xanex. Example: she just had a prescrption for 60 filled 5 days ago. They are each 2 mg and she is supposed to take them twice a day. Well now she is completley out. She has none left. When she took them, she was psychotic and couldn't remember anything and just was crazy. Now she is going through withdrawals and acts like she absolutley hates me and my dad! I'm only 15 and me and my step dad don't want her to go to rehab. But we fear she might get physically sick soon. Her doctor is a quack and prescribes whenever she wants them. We have made many complaints to his office. We don't know what to do and I'm so scared that something is gonna happen to her. Someone please email me with suggestions. Thank you. My email is cberry52792@yahoo.com

  24. Addict

    I have a 30 year old daughter, who has been on drugs for about ten years, her drug use is very bad, she has been beat up by boyfriend and put in the hospital, she is now getting in trouble with the law. I have her children, we just found out her liver is bad. I am so scare I am going to lose a daughter. I have tried everything, there isnt anything I can do to help her until she wants to help herself! I pray for her everyday!

  25. Addict

    My brother has been on weeds and some heavy stuff for over 10 years although he said he quit the heavy ones.my mum and i tried and spent all we could to help and now he is living with me,and he brings weed home at home.. my husband and i talked to him about it since we have a small baby in the house, he said he understood and will not be doing drugs in our house.. yesterday though he had a party and invited some friends and i surprised one of them rolling a joint inside my house and they were smoking in the garden.. how to react to that, i'm past anger, sadness etc.. should i just ask him to go and get a place of his own.. he lies to us, he seems to be always high.. i have lost a lot to the aftermath of his addiction and i have a family now.. why is my brother so selfish? can anyone help

  26. Addict

    My older sister is now going through the same thing that I went through in my 30's. I'm watching her drink herself to death. Literally. She has high blood pressure and an enabling husband and I can only sit back and watch. She does not believe in AA nor does her husband. I feel so helpless.

  27. Addict

    We just found out yesterday that our daughter in on heroine! In addition.... she stole money from her friends mother and broke into homes - all in one day we found this out. The questions asked.... why??????????? we never saw it. How did this happen.
    The family is depressed, upset and shaken about this. I do not believe she hit rock bottom yet and I am scared of what may happen if she does not clean up. After reading all the other blogs I am eased to find there are others that are going through the same ordeal. God bless you all

  28. Addict

    My son has been addicted to Oxy for 2 years. He's gone through outpatient programs which helped for a few months, but he began using again. I believe residential treatment is the only way to help him, because Oxy is so readily available in our area, it's as easy to get as buying a soda, therefore, getting him away from his connections is critical.

    For the lady with the heroin addicted son, if you still check in here.. there are Christian based residential treatment homes that are free or work with ou on payments. Teen Challenge (don't let the name fool you, it's mostly adults) it's one of the most effective programs around. Check with some of the churches that minister to addicts, also check with your local rescue mission etc. as they minister to alot of addicts/alcoholics etc.

    • Addict

      about your son who is addicted to oxy, my boyfriend has been on and off of it for a year now and its really started to effect our relationship. he says he has stopped for good now but the withdrawals are too much sometimes. today has been the worse..... we haven't talked calmly or happily to each other for all day. its been a roller coaster. i think his real struggle is that he works with all the people who he used to use with and deal with and he needs to get away but he says he can't. its so hard to find a job now a days, so he thinks that he cant get away from them all. his last major relapse was 3 weeks ago and his mood has gone from OK to unbearable. i feel like if i leave it would kill him and he would go deeper down into his hole that he is digging. but if i stay i don't know if i can see him go threw it all again. we have talked about it many times and he knows how i feel but he is " possessed" like that one person was saying. and he cant escape his demon that is Hard Drugs..... i just don't know what to do.... i love him so so so much and we have been threw a lot together. he is really trying to change but he sometimes cant get away from the nagging feeling that is Addiction. how do i talk to him? can we talk like normal people again? how can i make him happier?

  29. Addict

    Every pot addict doesn't progress to heroin, but just about every heroin addict starts with pot. Stephanie, google co dependency and enabling. Definitely kick your brother out. Living with the consequences of what he is doing may stop him from progressing further down the drug highway. It's called "TOUGH LOVE" and I wish I'd practiced it 2 years ago, but my husband is a constant enabler, justifying our sons use and making excuses..Love your brother enough to kick him out. Be strong!

  30. Addict

    I need advice, support or something. I am at the end of my rope with my boyfriend. I am 18 and he is 23...he is addicted to alcohol and drugs (xanax and klonapine). He has been addicted since his senior year of high school. When I met him a year ago he was drinking heavily daily and doing pills and smoking weed 5 to 6 times a month. Since we have gotten serious and began talking about living together he has cut way back. He now drinks once a week and does pills once a month. The alcohol he seems to be able to manage and doesnt have a problem with once a week drinking. (Although he frequently tells me he craves it daily) Pills...is a different story. He promises me every month that he won\\\'t take them again but that only lasts until it\\\'s time to get his rx refilled. I have threatened to leave him, screamed, cried, begged...I\\\'m just at a loss how to deal with this. When he is sober and clean he is the funniest, sweetest most loving man I have ever met. When he is using...he lies and becomes someone i don\\\'t know. He is NOT physically or emotionally abusive...he just lies about where he goes, what he does etc. When he comes off the pills he will eventually admit to the lies and after a few days he\\\'s back to his old self.

    Right now our relationship is long distance. We live 3 hours apart. He says that when he can be with me forever that he won\\\'t take pills or drink ever again. I want to believe him and I think he intends for that to be true but I just do not see how being with me physically 24/7 will cure his addiction. He, not purposely, makes me feel guilty...as if I am to blame for him not being able to stop on his own. I am struggling with my own addiction (bulimia) and the stress triggers my addiction. It\\\'s a cycle that we\\\'ve been replaying for 6 months now. I am turning into the dreaded overbearing girlfriend that most people hate...including myself. It is nothing for our cell phone bills to log 100 hours a month with just our conversations. I just graduated from high school and he currently does not work...so we spend all of our time on the phone. He sleeps all day and stays up all night but I have to work part time so I can\\\'t stay up all night with him, even though I push myself to stay up with him to make sure he doesn\\\'t do anything. I know this is a terrible way to have a relationship but I do not know what else to do and I am not willing to let him go and give up on him. I love him with all of my heart but it\\\'s a constant stress wondering when he will use again or when the next time I call him if he doesn\\\'t answer where he went and what he\\\'s doing.

    Today has been a very hard day. I talked to him at 3am before I went to bed and he was fine. He usually stays up til 5am or so and sleeps til 4 or 5 in the afternoon...so when he doesn\\\'t call me by 4:30 or 5 I go into panic mode. I called him several times and he finally answered groggy and unable to speak well. I knew at that moment he had taken pills. (I can always tell by just his first few sentences when he has been drinking/using) I kept nagging at him long enough until he, grumpily, woke up. All the while denying he had done pills. He tried to make some excuses about doing things for his parents etc but I cried and yelled until he said he wouldn\\\'t go anywhere. After a few minutes he decided to go to a local baseball game with his family and more than likely friends (all his friends are drug addicts...not exaggerating every single one of them.). He called me a few minutes ago from the game...heavily intoxicated. He admitted to taking Klonapine\\\'s and drinking.

    As I sit here and type this I am terrified because he has to drive home. He is only 15 minutes from home but we all know that is long enough to get into a wreck and either kill himself or someone else. Wednesday he told me, after drinking Tuesday all night he drove to a fast food place and upon leaving backed into a parked car then drove away. I was livid of course. He begged me for forgiveness just now, worrying I would break up with him. I assured him I wouldn\\\'t but that I was beyond fed up with the pills and lying.

    What do I do? I\\\'m so upset and scared and mad and a million other emotions right now. Any suggestions would be appriciated..I know from my own 12 step experience that advice giving is usually discouraged but maybe someones experience would help me.

    Thanks for taking the time to read this.
    Prayers to all those who are struggling,
    HeHasMyHeart

  31. Addict

    I need advice, support or something. I am at the end of my rope with my boyfriend. I am 18 and he is 23...he is addicted to alcohol and drugs (xanax and klonapine). He has been addicted since his senior year of high school. When I met him a year ago he was drinking heavily daily and doing pills and smoking weed 5 to 6 times a month. Since we have gotten serious and began talking about living together he has cut way back. He now drinks once a week and does pills once a month. The alcohol he seems to be able to manage and doesnt have a problem with once a week drinking. (Although he frequently tells me he craves it daily) Pills...is a different story. He promises me every month that he won\\\'t take them again but that only lasts until it\\\'s time to get his rx refilled. I have threatened to leave him, screamed, cried, begged...I\\\'m just at a loss how to deal with this. When he is sober and clean he is the funniest, sweetest most loving man I have ever met. When he is using...he lies and becomes someone i don\\\'t know. He is NOT physically or emotionally abusive...he just lies about where he goes, what he does etc. When he comes off the pills he will eventually admit to the lies and after a few days he\\\'s back to his old self.

    Right now our relationship is long distance. We live 3 hours apart. He says that when he can be with me forever that he won\\\'t take pills or drink ever again. I want to believe him and I think he intends for that to be true but I just do not see how being with me physically 24/7 will cure his addiction. He, not purposely, makes me feel guilty...as if I am to blame for him not being able to stop on his own. I am struggling with my own addiction (bulimia) and the stress triggers my addiction. It\\\'s a cycle that we\\\'ve been replaying for 6 months now. I am turning into the dreaded overbearing girlfriend that most people hate...including myself. It is nothing for our cell phone bills to log 100 hours a month with just our conversations. I just graduated from high school and he currently does not work...so we spend all of our time on the phone. He sleeps all day and stays up all night but I have to work part time so I can\\\'t stay up all night with him, even though I push myself to stay up with him to make sure he doesn\\\'t do anything. I know this is a terrible way to have a relationship but I do not know what else to do and I am not willing to let him go and give up on him. I love him with all of my heart but it\\\'s a constant stress wondering when he will use again or when the next time I call him if he doesn\\\'t answer where he went and what he\\\'s doing.

    Today has been a very hard day. I talked to him at 3am before I went to bed and he was fine. He usually stays up til 5am or so and sleeps til 4 or 5 in the afternoon...so when he doesn\\\'t call me by 4:30 or 5 I go into panic mode. I called him several times and he finally answered groggy and unable to speak well. I knew at that moment he had taken pills. (I can always tell by just his first few sentences when he has been drinking/using) I kept nagging at him long enough until he, grumpily, woke up. All the while denying he had done pills. He tried to make some excuses about doing things for his parents etc but I cried and yelled until he said he wouldn\\\'t go anywhere. After a few minutes he decided to go to a local baseball game with his family and more than likely friends (all his friends are drug addicts...not exaggerating every single one of them.). He called me a few minutes ago from the game...heavily intoxicated. He admitted to taking Klonapine\\\'s and drinking.

    As I sit here and type this I am terrified because he has to drive home. He is only 15 minutes from home but we all know that is long enough to get into a wreck and either kill himself or someone else. Wednesday he told me, after drinking Tuesday all night he drove to a fast food place and upon leaving backed into a parked car then drove away. I was livid of course. He begged me for forgiveness just now, worrying I would break up with him. I assured him I wouldn\\\'t but that I was beyond fed up with the pills and lying.

    What do I do? I\\\'m so upset and scared and mad and a million other emotions right now. Any suggestions would be appriciated..I know from my own 12 step experience that advice giving is usually discouraged but maybe someones experience would help me.

    Thanks for taking the time to read this.
    Prayers to all those who are struggling,
    HeHasMyHeart

  32. Addict

    I have a sad, happy story. I lost my son age 26 April 5th due to a infection he had gotten from interveinous drug use. Endocarditus. He was a 2yr Heroin addict, in treat 3 times using Suboxen. My 21yr old daughter, also a heroin addict got into Compdrug right after my son's passing. They are treating her with Methodone. This will be about a 2 yr program. Based on your INCOME. We are not weathly! SHe is 33 days clean! I'm telling you that there is HOPE. Starting with prayer! I created a my space for my son. I can give you additional information and support. This is MY mission. MySPace-Chadd Jordan. I hope to her from you and these families will be in prayers!

  33. Addict

    I;m not sure what happen but, I ended up with a man who was addicted to any opiate. Crack, Coke, Pills, Booze, u name it he did it. I work all day and when he stop working, I beg hime to find a job and help with the expenses, then things got worse. I was unaware of the theft going on in my home. Money, video games even my digital camera lost to work of drugs. Then one day nerves struck and we went down threw there. A truck that he was currently hauling junk was in my name and was taken from me, my home was entered when i wasn't there and my checkbook stolen. Before, this day I suspected something but, to come to terms of this happening again just flooredboard me. Not even 9 months earlier, I had taken the time and went to a Drug Treatment Program that gave him Methadone. Boy was that the biggest mistake of our lives. Well, to the present, two months of (his names is Billy) hiding in the next town did I received a call on Saturday morning of the location of him and the truck. Nerves struck and because the police where not any help my father and I went to secure the truck and to have the police come and secure him. Once, he was arrested for the charges I had taken out, I get a call three days later from jail. It's him! He wants me to help him! Promises me any and everything! Right to the chapel since our wedding had been cancalled. Yep, fell for it again, I worked on this mom, she got him out of jail. Once, I laid eyes on him I could see the person I fell in love with again not the drug abuser he had become. The coldness in his eyes the day we fought and he took my truck was not there, instead a beaten man with no where to turn,and ask for my forgiveness! Now, what? My parents do not want me to have anything to do with him for fear of my life. I am 31 years old and a mother of two children and to be honest I believe Im addict to the man I fell in love with. I can't turn it off and hate! Someone help me! He's ask for my help and should I turn my back and say No for all he has put me threw?

  34. Addict

    In response to Boggess\\\' comment on 3/25: I too have recently found out that my 20 year old son is using crack cocaine. I am devastated! I knew he smoked pot occasionally, but I wasn\\\'t very concerned about that since I have smoked that on occasions and never got hooked. I can tell you 2 good websites for information about crack are crackcocainerecovery.com and devilscandy.com. As for your concern about enabling him, I believe providing him with a car and job are only helping him to get his drugs. However, providing him with food and shelter are basic necessities. The problem with an addict with no job is valuables(anything that can be pawned), cash, your checks, etc. can become his funds to purchase crack. If he is living in your home, lock those things up or don\\\'t keep them at home! We have no power to force them into treatment since they are adults.

    I do not want to turn my back on him, so I have chosen to encourage him to get treatment, offer my support, not to give him cash, gas, or anything valuable (even if he loses his job - since his job is only providing him with drug money), not to leave him unsupervised in my home, inform other family members of his addiction and warn about giving cash or access to their valuables, remind him of the people he has stolen from, let him know we will press charges if he steals from us, tell him if his addiction is the life he chooses to live, he must live it somewhere else (my worst nightmare! - but if he isn\\\'t willing to try to kick it, that is the best thing I can do for the rest of my family), and describe his potential future as an addict (homeless, hopeless, prison, death). I have let my son know that I love him and always will, I want to help him and support him if he is willing to seek help, but the choice is his (seek help or accept the hopeless future of an addict).

    I would like to continue this conversation with boggess (3/25) or anyone else who is going through this.

    Let\\\'s continue to pray for our loved ones souls and our own sanity! God bless all!!!

  35. Addict

    Family therapy in substance abuse treatment can help by using the family's strengths and resources to find ways for the person who abuses alcohol or drugs to live without substances of abuse and to ameliorate the impact of chemical dependency on both the patient and the family. Family therapy,it can help families become aware of their own needs and aid in the goal of keeping substance abuse from moving from one generation to another.
    ===================================
    Aditi
    Addiction Recovery Arizona

    Addiction Recovery Arizona

  36. Addict

    I'm wondering where the "rule" and "guidelines" are for family members, i.e., parents when it comes to young adults recovering and they ask you for simple things, like a ride here (to a meeting or a doctor's appt) or to get together and have lunch weekly. My husband feels that I spend too much time with my daughter and that by doing too much for her, she is not learning to grow up. She has been doing well on the addiction part, I partly agree with him but not 100% -

  37. Addict

    My boyfriend, soon to be fiance, is currently in the middle of a 12 step program for former meth users. He is on step four and went through an in house rehab program. We live far apart and are planning on being married next year in California. We see each other every month or so but it is hard being away. I call him every morning and night. This morning I called and he sounded depressed and sad. I am afraid that the depression will send him back to that dark place. Any suggestions?

  38. Addict

    We are desperate - our 22 yr. old son in addicted to marijuana and is probably using harder drugs we do not know about. He is losing weight, wanting to avoid us, angry with us, always in a bad mood, very unorganized and cannot keep a job. We have tried everything: two interventions, three psychologists and three psychiatrists. We have not gone to "the bottom line" to ask him to leave. He is coming in at 5:00 in the morning, sleeping until 2:00pm, using my car and trashing it with junk, My husband and I are on sleeping pills to function. Please please please give us some advice.

  39. Addict

    First let me say, may God be with each of us and our addicted loved ones, and guide us through this without losing our sanity. As I type this right now, my beautiful 23 year old daughter is laying in her bed right now, so out of it she cannot talk without slurring her speach. She is hooked on Xanax. I have had her in counseling, Church, everything I know to do, she will do good for a few months, then it starts all over agian. I have read where, the person addicted has to truly believe they have a problem. I guess that is where I am at right now, she does not think she does. She looks straight at me and says mom, I am fine. I am so tired of all of this. I feel me nor my husband have our own lives anymore. She is not driving right now due to 3 car wrecks which totaled all 3 cars and of coarse no job. We refuse to get her another car. We are just at a stand still right now. Our other daughter is totally opposite of her. She is in College and ver independent. It just breaks her heart to see her sister this way, as it does ours also. I don't know if there anyone out there has an answer for this problem, but if you do, I am sure there are a lot of us that would love to know what it is. Any help would be so greatly appreciated. Guess the real question here is, how does someone get convinced that they have a prolem ??
    May God Bless Us All,

  40. Addict

    Drug abuse tears a family apart. There is no question that family counsiling is important to getting the addict clean and helping the family deal with the destruction that has been caused.

    Many families have found to help keep their children from using drugs is to test them with instant drug tests they can purchase on the internt.

    These tests are simple to use and give quick and accurate results. Plus they cost considerably less than labs charge.

    My father used to say inspect what you expect and we do that by keeping a couple of these instant tests in plain view so the kids no they could be tested at anytime.

  41. Addict

    My 15 year old daughter overdosed on over the counter cold medications about a week ago. She took a mix of sudafed and coricedin totalling 40 all together.
    We are very blessed that she is ok now but its been hell and heartache.
    I also have a son who is 17 who I know smokes pot. He has severe ADD, is hearing impaired and is classified multiply disabled. We have had him evaluated so many times and on trials of meds that were unsucessful for him. He would go on a trial and end up very sick with the worst of side effects that the drug would list.
    I signed him out of school last year because he could not function in a class setting. He was enrolled in a GED program which he is still attending but that takes up 2 hours of his day which leaves him roaming the streets the rest of the day.
    I just found out that he is dealing or a middle man getting drugs for people. Oxy Cotton and Zanex.
    I've been reding his IM's on his computer that he leaves on and his text messages when he is asleep. He never deletes them or closes his IM's.
    My daughter has had a year of experimentation. She started with Vodka, and got wasted one night after sneaking out with a boy. She drank until she was sick!
    I dont think that she drank after that experience. Then she started smoking pot which I knew about because I was drug testing both of them. She told me it was just once in a while but I guess I was wrong and nieve.
    Now with this last episode and almost loosing my baby girl she is in an outpatient rehab.
    And the hospital put in place for her a PINS petition "person in need of supervision" which will help alot I think because now the consequences are in the hands of a Judge if she breaks the rules.
    I also have one pending for my son. The Pins is only good until they are 18. My son has 6 months before he turns 18 and I am grasping for a life line for him.
    Tomorrow they are supposed to meet with the person from PINS and I am praying that they can help my son before its too late.

    My husband is a recovered alcoholic for the past 20 years. He used to smoke pot and dabble in other drugs when he was younger.
    He has been clean for all these years and this is tearing him apart.
    He became sober when my oldest son who is not 22 was 2. Thank G'd my oldest son is a productive member of our family and I dont know what I would do without his support.

    My heart is breaking and Im torn apart that I am living this nightmare all over again with my two youngest children.

    I thought when my husband got sobber we were safe from drugs.
    How wrong I was. We educated all of our children at the dangers of drugs and alcohol all of their lives. obviously its not enough.
    Now I sit here on a message board with my stomach twisting and tears streaming down my face searching for support.
    I am a true believer that all things happen for a reason and I have faith that we will get through this. But I am at my wits end and not the rock that I used to be.
    I just wanted to post my story in the hopes that I can get your support in anyway that I can.
    My biggest question right now is.. do I turn my son in to the authorities? I know he steals from us. I know he's dealing drugs at some level... I dont know how far he'll go to get drugs for himself.
    I need to save my children.
    I pray that we can all be blessed with recovery for our loved ones and strength to cope with what lyes ahead for us.

    G'd bless!

  42. Addict

    I am dealing with a man that has a bad problem with herion, I love this man very much, I have been with him for 25 years, he has a good heart but he is weak when it comes to drugs, when he goes into programs or get incarcerated I continue to wait for him because I do love him. but now it is getting the best of me dealing with this problem, but I don't want to leave him,I don't know what else to do, can you please help me with this.

  43. Addict

    This is almost embarassing to talk about. I feel foolish I been in my relationship since i was 18yrs old. I thought i found real love. someone who proposed to me and wanted to start a family.
    This march will be 11 yrs that we been 2gether! I'm now 29yrs old And the entire time his drug use has escalated. I may drink once in a blue. But i dont do drugs,and i'm nowhere near an alcoholic. And therefor he always lies, is always making mysterious runs and is deffensive, is angry with me, angry in general, has a short fuse, or acts like he dont care enough to let me know what is going on.
    Even though sometimes he just gives me a blatent fu** you. I think he is ashamed that he would have to admit that he has a problem, or get out the dillusion, that he has no problem. Or look weak 2 me 2 himself!
    It is all medical in his head, cause he has back pain, and some of the stuff he takes is actually doctor prescribed.
    About 5yrs ago is when it was soooo bad, between the drinking,sleeping, drunking fits,pills,n smokin weed that i left him!
    he promised to change, he wanted me back, wanted 2 be a family! he was gonna stop mentally, and emotionally abusing and neglecting me.
    He was going to stop doing drugs he fully acknowleged that he had a drug problem,took responsibility, and seemed genuinely remorsefull! he didnt want to loose me or his child and i left him at his lowest, and he would take forever making it up to me.
    He attended therapy, and if i came back stuff would be diffrent. And they were diffrent! for about 2 months. I been payin 4 that break up! and have no leverage, he will never let me hurt him like that again. i was on a power trip when we were broken up.
    i'm a whore, slut,bitch. And for the slightest infraction he dumps me, but never for real. He controls the finances. And we are always left without. While he always has his stuff.
    I\'m suffering from anxiety, and depression! And He taunts me, telling me to leave him. And that we are working it out, yet calls me to tell me he knows i\'m cheating, and he doesnt care! but clearly he does and he is very mad about it.
    My family who lives far away is at there wits end. If they dont here from me for a day or so they get terrified that something horrible has happened to me at his hands cause of his addiction.
    And he talks badly about me to people. 2 make his addiction seem not so bad, to take focuss away from his flaws and issues and failures as related to his homelife..
    When i work, he takes my money to put towards bills. So he can have extra... We dont even share a room because he chooses his habbits over us .
    Our sex life suffers, it is my fault according to him. That our relationship has problems, and that things are tense. Cause i wont stop nagging.
    HOw can I though when he stays up allll night. and sleeps all day Or letting him know. I know you got a drug problem, and that is why you sleep all day.
    Or when we dont have things, or when he is out with his friends all day and night, i feel like his mom, dad, sister everybody enables him turns a blind eye, helping him keep his job, his car, bailing him out every once inawile when he gets detained.
    They have given up on him and me and left him in my hands to become my problem! i left the house came back 24hrs later he was still sleep hadnt budged to eat or nothing i thought he was dead! he has fallen asleep with lit cigs in hand,wakes up like he dont know who he staring at for 5min..he is loosing weight, and claims that he has no problem!
    It is prescribed cause of back pain. But he goes through withdrawel. When he dont have it! all edgy and irratated i\'m scared to let him know i have money! we never have extra, and he makes decent money.
    And even sick dry heaving in the bathroom every other morning! I\'m scared for his health, i\'m afraid he is going to die i\'m concerened for my health, and the diseases he could be bringing home. If he out there sleeping around!
    And he gets street drugs as well as the prescribed when he runs out! he gets stuff on credit and has to pay it back. I have seen the friends he has made one going through withdrawel all jittery and flushed lookin... I\'m at my wits end! because i know he loves me and that this is just the addiction.
    I know he cares, he told me this last time when we broke up we went through this last time, when i left He was crying, and beging, and just letting me know it wasnt him. it was his addiction, and he was soooo sorry!
    I dont wanna leave him. When he is struggling and refuses to even acknoledge it! but i just cant stay around. when he acts like he dont need me here, or want me here yet expects me to cook, clean,do his laundry. why suffer with someone if his actions and words speak otherwise
    i cant keep blaming his habbits. He treats me like something he stepped on, and got stuck on the bottom of his shoes. I just would appreciate some feedback from anyone. this has been going on forever. Anyone who has been through this or knows anything. He dont want therapy, wont go to rehab...
    I dont know what to do anymore? all he do is say i\'m a do what i want. and i\'m a keep you here, and i will make your world hell. The min you leave me etc...HELPPPPPPPPPPPP

  44. Addict

    You should educate yourself on drug abuse and what it does to the family of the abuser. You are in denial and this is a very difficult place to be. You will not be able to save him, he will need to find his own way. There is so much information available on the web, just do the research, go to alanon, get help for yourself because you will not come out of this unscathed. I hope you continue to write in and I pray that you will find the strength to let him fight his battle.

  45. Addict

    we are losing a battle with kevin and i come to you for support. kevin must make choice tonight he must go to treatment or back to jail for a year. he is scared and walked away from his home and all who love him and want to help. if you can email kevin tonight and tell him to go home to the woman who loves him and to his girls and go to treatment its not hopeless. he is online and you can help. tell him there is hope out there and to hang on to those he loves. camaros--67@hotmail.com

  46. Addict

    My husband and i have been together for over 12 years. We have 3 beautiful daughters who have gone through hell due to alcohol and drug abuse. Cocaine got ahold of both of us, he lost his job years ago and thank god I had to stop using drugs, so we wouldn't lose any more than we already had. We are about $80 grand in debt. I've been supporting him for years. He's stolen from me and my teenage daughters bank accounts to support his habit. He doesn't do anything all day and I was so angry I didn't realise it was the drugs... NOT HIM, who was controlling his life. Finally, after about 5 years of physical and mental abuse, I decided to leave him. I took all of his access to money and our family, due to his raging mood swings and constant complaining about noise... After I left him.. I dealt with his hurtful words, threats on my life, harrasment, etc... for about 2 weeks. Then it turned to non-stop crying and begging for us to come home. I held strong and told him we were done. He finally came clean and admitted that he was addicted to Cocaine. I never realised that this drug could be so harmful and take over someones sole. It was truly made from the devil... Today, I am happy to say, my husband called a drug rehab center close to home. He is checking into a 30 day in-patient program and I am so proud of him for conjuring up the strength to make that first phone call for help. I will be there to support him through every session and anything he needs to get him better. Our marriage may have been too damaged to go back, but I know that he and I will get through this in one piece, because he finally realised that the drug is NOT more important than his family. No matter what, he needs my support and most of all my forgiveness. He has it...

  47. Addict

    After reading all these entries I\'m wondering if there is any hope for my son - He is 21 years old and has been doing all sorts of drugs for years but I just kicked him out of the house yesterday and found out that he has been snorting oxycontin for several years - on and off. After doing some research, I realize he needs to go to rehab and physically detox. We are going to hold an intervention and I have been in touch with a counselor online from \"Recovery Intervention\" who told me that he needs to get out of state and far from home in order for it to work. I know it\'s going to be very expensive and I\'m not a rich person but I\'ll find it if it means helping my son. I\'m very concerned about all the relapsing I\'m reading about and children who started at his age and are now 30 years old and still at it. I am heart-broken and can\'t even get off the couch since this has happened. Somebody - please talk to me about success - someone who did get off oxyicontin . . .

  48. Addict

    Mary Lou from Nov. 29th, I know exactly what you are going through. My son is also 21 and using oxicontin. We did an intervention last year and he went but checked himself out after only 7 days. I wish I could talk to you about success but we haven't really seen "real" success. There have been a lot of false starts. He is in jail right now and it is odd but I almost feel that is better than what he has been doing. He is so bright that even with the addiction he does fine in school even at a university campus. But what good is college when he is racking up felony convictions and continuing his drug use. We are on felony arrest number 4 and his guardian angel has kept him out of prison. We hear that we need to let him hit bottom, his bottom. Heaven knows we hit bottom long ago. He still apparently has a ways to go and I just question whether this is the right course. I don't have any answers only questions and tears. Outside of my faith in God, I've not found much help in coping.

  49. Addict

    I am also dealing with my son's addicition to heroin. He is 31 years old and has been addicted for several years. He did get clean while in jail but is again doing heroin. I am at my wits end I have tried everything. He has been in and out of jail for robberis to support his habit. He is living with my husband and I which is his step-father and he has tried to help him also. My son is in denial and is constantly lieing to us and I finally told him he had to take a blood test to prove he is not back on the drugs. I have told him that if he is on drugs that he has to move out. He is my only child and I am so afraid he will die I am constantly sick with worry I don't sleep for fear of him overdosing and I have told him if this blood test comes back positive he had to move out this is my final shot I have tried everything to get him off of these drugs. Someone please tell me if there is anything else I can do. I have read some of the other comments on this blog regarding rehab, but what rehab is there for jobless addicts, and family members who have no money I am on disiability and my husband is on social security our income is very modest,plus if an addict doesn't want to quit what good is rehab? Someone please give me advice.

  50. Addict

    I just can't stop crying right now. He just died this morn. My daughter's husband. Only 36. He had a serious illness but on top of that was abusing prescripts + alcohol. Now he is gone. No one is reaching out to me becuz I was the one who kept making a big stink of it all. I got, in my possession, taped recordings of horrific absolutely disgusting threatening phone calls from him - with her crying in the background. No one has since tried to 'fix things' or make it any better. Instead, he got sick once again, went into a coma & after a few days has died. GeeWhiz, why didn't anyone try harder to intervene? I got to a point whereby no matter what I said or did it was debased and set aside. Plus, we all kno what manipulators and liars addicts can be, so I was always made out the 'bad guy'. Hard to come out from under the cloak of Scapegoat. Yet it was so often, in the past, me who pretty much all the time, made things right, did a cover-up, kept confidences etc. Now, I am the big bad Axx. My own daughter is so cruel to me. Am heartbroken, she lived with me until she was 26yrs old, I was always there for her, thru the childhood sex abuse, the death of her baby, her broken neck in horrific car accident, and then even with her new love -- gee, I helped them both so much & now I am the horrible one. I'm so sad, so devastated, that I'm not even sure I should go to the funeral. Not the 'kind of Grace' I would like to exhibit, but that is how awful I feel and how bad I am being treated. Know, that in a while, when everyone else has to go home & back to their lives, her Mom will still be here. And yet, I wonder . . Will I? can I? I don't know what to do. Gawdalmighty, I am so so broke up about this. I didn't kill him, I tried to save him from doing it to himself. I was worried more that she would go first, from an heart attack or some such. Now, I can be made to be the big bad ole Wolf[ess] and blame can be shifted and everyone can grieve easily and with blame directed away from themselves. Krippee, how awful. I was widowed same time as my girl now, 34yrs old, and had to raise my 2 babes pretty much all by myself and no one to stand by me. Now, she dares to shun me, and fight me off? I wasn't a drug addict tho, so I need to try and be more empathetic than ever. Anyone . . . any one tell me some thing to give me strenght?
    Thanks -A

    • Addict

      Al-Anon. Go to Al-Anon and don't leave. You need your own program of recovery and Al-Anon, for family and friends of alcoholics and other addicts, is the name of the program for you. Call your local hospital, or church for meeting schedules. The meetings are free (or contribute $1) confidential and life saving. Go and don't stop going.

  51. Addict

    I want to tell you a story about a 26 yr old named Chadd Michael Jordan. He had gotten this infection that collected in 2 valves of his heart. This infection then sloughed off & went to his brain. This caused him to have a stroke on Monday March 31, 2008. Then around 9 am while in the ER he flat lined.
    They were able to revive him & he was then admitted into the ICU. He?s now on life support.

    Over the next couple of days the infection shows its damage. See, when he flat lined in the ER, it took them a while to revive him. Due to the lack of oxygen to his brain, he suffered irreversible brain damage.

    This infection is quickly destroying his body. His brain has become severely swollen; the fever keeps spiking then coming back down. His heart is pumping over time, struggling because the infection has blocked 1 valve & part of another.

    On Thursday evening April 3rd, his kidney?s start to shut down. By Friday morning April 4th they shut down. Now his parents have to decide to take him off life support, which they do.

    He?s moved to a private room & kept very comfortable until he passes away Saturday morning April 5th. This infection that has started all of this, how did he get it you ask? You see, Chadd was struggling with a Heroin drug addiction.

    Heroin took everything from him. All his belongings he sold. His pride stripped away. Heroin took his family, not because they didn?t want to be around him. He was too ashamed to be around them for fear they?d find out he was using.

    See, shame is a big part of this addiction which causes isolation. I know he loved his family very much & wanted to protect them from his addiction. Yes this is a very sad story, but it is one that needs to be told. People worry about over dosing & not the infection that can come with intravenous drug use.



    Chadd didn?t want to to die, he told me this when we were waiting for the ambulance to come on Monday March 31st. I can?t let Chadd?s story end like this. How do I know so much of Chadd?s story you ask? I was blessed to be Chadd?s mother. This is my son?s story. Yeah, go ahead & say ?oh no?. Your wondering how am I doing? Oh, I am very sad & I have this hole in my heart. This hole will never go away.

    I only have 2 children, 1-son & 1-daughter. Both of my children were struggling with a Heroin addiction. They were not only siblings, but best friends. Best friends in everything they did, including their addiction.

    See I knew this was coming. To some this may sound crazy. Last June I was standing on my deck feeling panicky, knowing I was gonna lose one of my children. I heard ?Yeah, your right. What are you gonna do? You need to come back home. Because when this happens your gonna need me.

    November 3rd 2007 I ask Jesus to be my Lord & Savior. I have told people that I knew this day was coming. I?m sure some just thought it was just me being so worried about my children that they didn?t believe what I was saying.

    But I believed in what I was told. Today, here I am at the very day that my Lord & Savior told me that was coming. He is carrying me right now. Just like he said ?I do need him?

    God knows what we need. We really don?t, we just think we day. We have a awesome God. He will carry us through the worst of times, Trust me, I could not do this without him.

    Yes this can be you! Look at your family; they can be in my shoes. Now more than ever I believe, Do you? It?s easy; all you have to do is just ask him to be Your Lord & Savior. Trust me; he is waiting on you to just call on him!

  52. Addict

    I have a 22 year son who has struggled with drug addiction for over 5 years now. he is also bi-polar and takes alot of prescription drugs and abuses them. We kicked him out of the house today, we were letting him stay in our vacation home. he's done everything we've asked him NOT to do, smoked in the house, not kept it clean, at Christmas he took 2 boxes of cold meds and ended up in ICU for 4 days, went to a short term facility and has done some sort of drug or alcohol atleast once a week since. His new girlfriend is also an enabler and is now trying to find them a place to live, he has no job and doesn't wanna go and look for one. he is my ONLY child, we've sent him to several mental hospitals and drug rehabs, he eventually goes right back to it. We paid for college for 5 years and he's only passed 4 classes. My husband and i are at wits end, will this ever end? did i do the right thing? i'm sad! help!!

  53. Addict

    I've been reading these blogs all afternoon. I have a 52 year old brother who is in rehab once again. Why does he even bother to go to rehab? Because he's bounced so many checks and borrowed from the wrong people once again. He's been in jail for forgery and larceny and when he gor out after 6 months he headed straight for his beloved drugs. He's found doctors that prescribe him Oxycontin, percs.. you name it and not for the usual 10 or 20 pilles but these bottles I have here are for 60 and one for 224 pills each.. Perscribed and picked up on the same date.. three days later.. the bottles are empty except for the little heroine packets inside. He lies and steels and everything is for him.. no concern for others.. period!!! I am cold to him now and to every abuser, user who refuses to take control of their own lives and grow up. They see what they do to families and they don't care as long as they get what they want. It is NOT the drugs.. it is the person. If it were just the drugs why are there so many recovering? And kudos to them!!! I'm angry.. I'm angry because, at least in my case, the doctors and drug stores are equally to blame for much of this. He's 52 and my family has been dealing with this for over 30 years now.. the stealing, the lies, just all of it. So before any of you good, decent people fall prey and sympathize with the poor addict in your family who needs help.. Remember this.. You're not alone and it's NOT your fault. It is THEIR choice.

  54. Addict

    It was their choice in the BEGINNING. Then it becomes a physical MUST. Opiates are the hardest to kick. My suggestion is join a recovery group. Learn about addiction. Go to my son's my space page & I will try to help. Chadd Jordan 26 in Groveport Ohio. May God Bless & Comfort you~Pam

  55. Addict

    My 20 year old daughter came out of rehab Jan 09. She was doing relly well Her boyfreind was in rehab as well he came out about one month ago. Two weeks ago I had items missing from my house. I called the police and my daughter will be arrested soon. I put her out of my house and learned her and the loser boyfreind are living on the streets. It is so hard for me to not help her. I am up everynight wondering if I will be getting that phone call. Is it normal to feel so bad. I don't know what else to do. I supported her got her to every rehab session she had. Now she is with that loser boyfriend which she swore she would never go back to. Any advice to help me cope with this??

  56. Addict

    T just found this web site and just about all of us have the same story to tell.I`ve got a 23 year old son that wont work and lies and steals from everyone in the family and has been on drugs for the past 5 years.Just last night my youngest daughter found out that her rare coins were missing.We all know where they went they went up his nose or shot up his arm.I`am so sick of this it never ends I dont think till we put dirt on top of them.I wish I had the answer.I read some where that it runs in your genes.Thats is B.S.its the choices you make.I`am 52 years old and have worked hard all my life and have never done any drugs and dont know anyone else that has on either side of the family.I get my high on a job well done.

  57. Addict

    Im stuck. Im 15 and my older sister is a heroin addict, we werethe best of friends when we were little so when she left when she reached 16 because she was on drugs, she destroyed my family. Now, shes attempted suicide 3 times and we have tried everything, and im scared and upset and just dont know what to do. Any suggestions because its tearing me apart.

  58. Addict

    What is happening to people around the world is very sad, my condolences go out to all the families that have lost a loved one to Substances Abuse !!!!!!!!!

  59. Addict

    My sister is 40 years old an has been an addict for 27 years. She just finished detox in the hospital for the first time. She tried to commit suicide for the first time and I think that was her rock bottom.

    She is now living in a half way house a few hours from home doing a 12 step program. She has 2 beautiful girls that I am raising and they think of me as mom. That breaks my heart because I want so badly for her to be a good mom and for me to be the loving aunt.

    My story is pretty much the same as everyone else. I love my sister I will do anything to help her as long as she is willing to help herself, but if this program does not work or she is not willing to do the work with the support of family and friends then I don't know where to go from here. She is truly suffering a slow and miserable death.

  60. Addict

    My mother has been an addict off and on for years, even before I was born. I'm a teenager right now and we are getting into arguments. I suppose that's partially normal but there's still more to it. We have completely different views and we are almost complete Bipolar opposites. She's a people person, Christian, and always in your face. I'm quiet, a loner, into philosophy, and try to be polite.

    My mother's drug of choice would be crack with a bit of meth mixed in it. She also smokes pot, has mental issues and health issues. She does crack/meth in the house while I'm here and stays out late at night once in a while.

    I've lost a lot of respect for her in the past four years that I have lived with her. At first, I was super supportive about her getting clean. I always made sure that I told her I loved her. Then she chose the drugs over me two Christmas' ago. She also tried to choke me. There were a lot of Social Workers involved, and I would've been placed in a foster home if I didn't refuse them. I ended up back at my home with my mother before the holiday break ended. That's when I was twelve.

    I guess I'm leaving out a lot, but I'd much rather be quick about this. My parents split when I was five. That summer I saw my mom in bed with another man, I dealt with horrible therapy, and ended up back with my dad without a clue of what happened. I lived with my dad for a couple of years. My father and his wife who were both addicts and neglected me, my sister and her son. When we moved back in with my mom, my sister left after two years or so to join the anarchy scene. I don't really consider myself a victim, but I do blame my parents for making me as messed up as I am.

    Currently, I'm still living with my mother, and she's trying to get more serious about treatment. (She's going to a rehab center soon for six weeks.). She had detoxed a while ago then caved in less then a week later. I'm not sure if I'm an idiot for staying around this long, or if this is all my fault that she hasn't gotten better. Every time I tell her I need to leave this house because I'm just getting more and more messed up, she tells me that if I go she'll give up and commit suicide.

    I'll say this straight out, I'm not supportive anymore. I've really been there for her and in my opinion it really did nothing. She still used and didn't stop. I'm actually quite a cold and mean person now. I'm completely negative and I hate almost everything. The last time I told her I loved her was in the spring, and that was the first time in over two years. I don't always know how to deal with this but I try my best.

  61. Addict

    My husband uses cocaine in various forms. He doesn't think he is to blame and all of life's problems and everything else around him is the problem. He admits he hates it, but continues to use it every weekend. We are broke. All of his money seems to go to this and he believes it goes to bills.

    I don't know what to do anymore. We've been together for 21 years and have a 19-year old son. I am always crying and feeling sorry for myself. I love him and I know he loves me and doesn't want to do it, but won't get help either. He thinks he can control it and stop. He says he's going to stop every time and then he uses again, and again. I'm watching him slowly die.

    I'm just so very depressed and have started back to college after being laid-off in December of 2008 after 10 years at my career along with 45 other co-workers. It's really tough on me. What can I do? All I do is pray the rosaries every day in hopes that the blessed mother will help him. Please give me some advice. Thanks so much and God Bless.

  62. Addict

    I don't know where to turn and I don't know what to do anymore. I am 20 and my boyfriend of 3 years is 21. We have a 5 month old baby and my boyfriend smokes pot, 3 or 4 joints a day and I am at my wits end.

    I have tried everything and he promises me over and over again that he will give it up. He does for about 2 or 3 days and he smokes again after that.

    I have begged him to stop or he will lose me and the baby but he's still smoking.

    I am just as bad because I let him get away with it. I tell him that we will leave if he continues but I never leave. I don't know what to do anymore. Please help me, I would be forever great full for some advice.

    • Addict

      There alot of things i can say Laura, the sad truth is that they have to want to. My sons mother was smoking when we got together. I after 4 years had to leave because she wanted the drug more than us. I too abused pain pills and had to face my own battles, just give him all the love you can and hopefully he will start to realize that life will be very difficult without you.....sometimes tough love is the best way to go. I'm sorry to hear your going through this. It is hard but remember the drug is a very tough opponent. Be strong keep me updated!

Leave a comment


Addict

To protect the integrity of our site all comments are reviewed prior to being shown, we apologize for the small delay, but this brings a better experience for our readers. SPAM & rude comments are not tolerated. Using the 'Connect with Facebook' option will get your comment up faster!

Contact A Substance Abuse Counselor

We help people take the first steps toward getting help for their drug and alcohol usage and having drug-free lifestyles. To contact an alcohol/drug abuse counselor, please call 1-855-972-3233 or have a Counselor Contact You

Socialize with us