Recalling that addiction is clinically defined as repeating negative behaviors despite the consequences or the risks involved and recalling also our initial categorization of our inner listeners as Absent Others we now look at addictive dialogs from within this framework. Addictive dialogs constantly occur within active addiction and serve to literally keep the person trapped in a cycle of repetitive thoughts.
Some of these dialogs are with negative specific absent others. Indeed resentments are nothing more than our own negative inner dialogs that we choose to have with negative specific or sometime general absent others.
Examples of his dynamic are :
“I don’t understand why my boss is on my case about my drinking. What does he expect I have to entertain clients Don’t I!” or “The police should spend their time and my tax money chasing real criminals and why they trapped me for a DUI is only because they find it easier to catch honest citizens than doing their real jobs”.
Notice that these addictive dialogs serve to keep the inpidual within a repetitive inner conversation such that the inner speaker is always in the right and the absent other is always in the wrong. This phenomena is often identified as classic denial. In our next entry we look more closely at how this dynamic of addictive inner dialogs develops into a vicious circle and ultimately into a vortex of addiction.
Rick Murphy, M.A.